The other day, my child (whom I refer to as “WB” online) had a big breakthrough; they beat a level in a video game that they’d been working on for weeks.
Sounds kinda simple, right? Not for them. For WB this was HUGE.
As caregivers, the triumphs and tragedies our kids experience are often hidden from us during the day: the confidence to talk to a new kid at school, the disappointment when a friend doesn’t want to work with you in a group project, and the thrills and frustration that come from investing time and energy into something like a video game.
From the outside, a child sitting and playing a game isn’t “doing anything”. But in reality they are often working very hard, we just don’t see it in the same way as if they were building a block tower or diligently working on a drawing.
When WB Showed me their winning screen, I focused on one thing- the number of attempts they’d made. This was evidence not of their failures but of their perseverance and willingness to try again and again and again.
That skill of tenacity is real, even if the video game itself is not. And when we see screen time as a valid use of time, it’s much easier to notice the SKILLS our kids are working on via screen time.
“But Ash, kids can persevere in lots of things. Kids should work on that outside of screens.” Working on a skill on a screen is not mutually exclusive with practicing it in real life. And it’s OK if kids enjoy a video game enough to persevere through a challenge- it’s actually a GOOD thing because we can harness that skill and transfer it to other things.
When my child is working on rock climbing or swimming and feels frustrated because they aren’t “getting” it quickly, I can come back to this moment and remind them that some things take not just one or two or even fifty tries, but hundreds of tries. And the skill they have of trying again and again will serve them in games, in school, in digital worlds, and in the real world.
