The two questions that shape my parenting
That apply to just about anything
🤔How do I know if my child is ready for a phone (or an iPad, or a computer, or to bike to school alone, or anything potentially scary)?
😵💫When we’re worried our child isn’t prepared for something, we focus on the fears, the worst case scenario, the “scary” things that could happen.
🤯But to help reframe our thinking, we need to focus on the SKILLS our kids need. By building skills, we ARE protecting kids, but not all kids are ready for those skills at any given time.
This doesn’t mean we disregard the fear or aspects that could be dangerous. But just as we teach our kids to swim to PREVENT them from drowning (danger), we also teach them in a way that allows them to gain the skills safely, such as being in the shallow end or using a flotation device.
🚦Most importantly, protection and skill building aren’t mutually exclusive. Don’t miss the last slide with comparisons between the two; we might block chat capabilities with strangers in an online app AND allow our kids to play multiplayer games with friends they know in real life, so they are both protected and learning the skill of appropriate online interactions.
🚳Instead of focusing on the fears, identify the skills that are needed.
These might include:
Balancing responsibilities with leisure
Coming to an adult if something is unsafe
Knowing what is safe to discuss or post online
Having access to a device but not using it at inappropriate times
And we can even break those down to more fundamental skills, such as delayed gratification, tolerating impatience, etc.
As we add more access, check in with kids to see what they are noticing or feeling. They may see differences in how it impacts their lives that we may miss.
💪Just as we would ensure our child knows our address, the street names in the neighborhood, and how to get help before we’d let them bike alone, focusing on the skills they need to navigate the online world can empower us instead of reacting out of fear.