This is one of my favorite and most often used phrases and it will help your kids become better at looking for things and finding them independently.
Believe it or not, looking for things is a SKILL. We have to learn how to look for things. As parents we often find things for our kids because it’s easier and faster. But if we don’t involve them in the looking, we perpetuate the idea that *we* know where things are and they don’t. This results in kids (who become adults) who struggle with not just finding things, but the executive functioning skill of knowing how to look.
Instead of finding things for your kids (or student, or spouse) say: “where have you already looked?” This lets several important things happen:
They reflect and recall what they’ve tried
We can offer another idea (“where else could it be?” Or “try looking X place because Y reason”)
They are the ones having to look and find a solution
Video games are a great way to practice this. Kids often do a LOT of looking and planning and executive function in games but they don’t realize it. We can help them bridge that to real life by noticing when this comes up in games and offering them similar strategies.
We can also notice when they do this successfully in games and help them recognize the skills they’re using. This might sound like “I heard you playing Minecraft with your friends today and you kept saying you didn’t know where they were. How did you find them? What did you try?” Or “wow you checked your inventory today to see what you were missing! Next time you’re wondering if you have clean shirts, you can do the same thing in your room and check your “clothes inventory” in your closet!”
In the comments: what is the silliest or most obvious thing you’ve been asked to find? (I’ll go first- “where is my cheese?” asked while they were holding the cheese)
