*Disclaimer first*: all kids are different. If you hear what I chose to say in this video and think my exact verbiage wouldn’t work for your kid, change it! This is an example made to fit social media video lengths, it’s not meant to be an exact script.
There is a huge overlap between mental/domestic labor and executive function; when we can find ways to illustrate this overlap and make these steps more concrete for kids, it can go a long way to building not only their executive functioning skills but also applying these skills to household labor.
We can start these conversations from early childhood! And I can think of no better example than laundry, because the difficulty is not necessarily how to put soap in and turn the washer on. The difficult part is noticing when something needs to be done and responding ahead of time.
Many aspects of this domestic labor seem magical and invisible to children (and to other adults, at times). But these skills are often learned and conditioned in other parts of their lives, such as video games!
If kids are always playing Minecraft, they’re probably thinking a lot about resource allocation and fulfillment.
If they’re playing a lot of Fortnite they’re probably thinking about responding to stimulus in the moment or thinking strategically.
By viewing things like video games with moral neutrality, it’s a lot easier for us adults to “see” these skills and help our kids transfer the skill to the rest of their lives.
Will this work immediately? Almost certainly not! Will they mess it up? Almost certainly yes! And just like all other parts of parenting, you get to decide what is or is not an appropriate time to give some support:
kiddo didn’t notice they were out of clean socks and we’re home for the weekend and it’s warm enough for sandals? Sure, they can learn the lesson that they have no socks today.
Kiddo has a soccer championship and their last pair of soccer socks is in the laundry? I’m probably going to prompt them or do their laundry, (unless we’ve already talked about this and they know this is a possible consequence).
As they get used to this, we can start asking them more things to prompt these skills, such as “hey, I want you to be packed for our trip no later than Wednesday, so anything you want to pack needs to be clean before Wednesday.”
*if these ideas about mental load resonate, check out the work of @everodsky @rose.hackwoman @thatdarnchat @timetoleanpod whose ideas are used in this video* And order @thatdarnchat’s recent book “No More Mediocre”!
