When I discuss screen time, I start by addressing the importance of neutrality. But inevitably when I bring up the importance of viewing screens with moral neutrality, someone will say “but then my kids would want it all the time!”
Kids want things on their own terms a lot of the time, but we don’t always allow that. So, here’s where my video game analogy comes in: be player 1.
Player 1 and player 2 both get to play a video game, but player 1 is in charge of navigating menus, pressing start or pause, etc. Player 2 can win every level, but player 1 often controls when the level begins (or if it begins at all).
In other words: player 2 gets to play and have fun, but player 1 is in control.
We can give kids access to screens and technology, without letting them be player 1. Maybe we let them be player 1 for moments at a time- choosing the game they play, the show they watch, whether we clean up dinner before or after a movie, etc.- but we are still player 1 the majority of the time.
And sometimes, as player 2, you dislike something player 1 does. Maybe they choose a level you dislike, but you’re stuck with it. That means player 2 also gets to have feelings about player 1’s decisions, even if they can’t do anything about it.
Don’t get me wrong, being player 1 can get kind of exhausting when you’re making that many decisions. But, just because our kids have access to technology doesn’t mean we hand them over complete control. They can use screens, AND we can remain player 1.
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