Gonna lose your cool over screens? Say this, not that.
Easy swaps without giving in.
Ever have that moment where you open your mouth to say something to your kids and your own parents’ words come out? Sometimes that’s a good thing, and other times not so much.
If you’re having a moment where you feel you’re gonna lose it and your kid will bring this up in therapy one day, here are some swaps you can try.
Obviously, the exact phrasing isn’t key here, so make it work for your own family. What’s key is these are generally swaps from threats or promises, to boundaries or statements.
You may think “but my kid will just complain more if I say TV is available when chores are done”. If that’s the case, then the question becomes: are they allowed to complain? If they are, then they’re just holding up their end of the bargain. If they aren’t allowed to complain, then what is the boundary around complaining? Make sure it’s clear to them.
Of course, if you use one of the phrases on the left and it works for you and your family, I’m not saying to get rid of it. This is if you are looking for an alternative because it’s not working for you anymore.
One of the biggest reasons I personally try to avoid threats like removing time based on behavior, is because I often NEED that screen time to get some things done! If I start promising extra screen time or threatening to remove it, that has a direct impact on the adults in the family, and that matters too.
If you are interested in more of these reframes and a huge deep dive into the research and reasoning behind it, be sure to preorder my book Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. It will give you tips and tricks you can try from your kid’s first TV show to their first smart phone.