From my recent Q&A box came this question: how do I educate my kid about the dangers of chatting with strangers, or other online content, without exposing them to it?
My answer is the same as it always is: focus on the skill.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again: there are 4 overarching skills I think my child needs to have when interacting with something potentially unsafe (Which is basically everything, let’s be honest):
Literacy (familiarity and fluency)
Critical Thinking (evaluation, skepticism, asking questions)
Risk assessment (what is a risk, what is the size of the risk, is this the time to take this risk, what are the consequences, etc.)
When and how to ask for help
I want my child to have these skills with academics, such as knowing a subject, thinking about the information presented to them critically, knowing what to do when they don’t understand and when is the right time to do it, and how to advocate for what they need.
I also want them to have those skills when talking with friends in real life at a party that’s getting out of hand, when talking with a potential future romantic partner who is asking for intimate photos or texts, and with strangers online.
So if we’re worried about interactions with strangers online, let’s focus on the skill, remove the technology, and we’re with pretty clear goals: understand how chats work and who they’re interacting with, know what to share and what to keep private, know what questions strangers should or shouldn’t ask (versus friends or family), and know what to do if someone crosses an unsafe boundary.
“But the reason it’s unsafe is BECAUSE of the technology” you think “you can’t just take out the tech”. My point in removing the tech from the equation is to help us focus in on the skill we’re worried about. If our kid needs help with risk assessment, we can build that skill through sports, through crossing the street, through spending money out of a budget, through guessing on a test, AND through technology. By talking with kids about “risky behavior” instead of “the risks of technology” we help them see the crossover, so they understand that risk isn’t always about the medium, even if the medium changes the risk factors.
