1️⃣I get this question a lot: “my kid wants [game/show name], should I let them play/watch it?” Here is THE most important thing to consider:
🤔Are you ok with the feelings that game or show will bring out in your child? Are you ok with the feelings they’ll have when it’s time to turn it off?
🤯Ultimately, it doesn’t matter WHAT they’re watching or playing if we aren’t prepared to manage the feelings our kids will feel.
🧠When our kids are upset during a game or show, or when it’s time to turn it off, we have a choice: focus on the feelings, or focus on the show/game.
😫If we blame the game, that could sound like: “we can’t play this if you act this way,” or “if you’re going to whine when I turn this off we can’t have it again” or “this show makes you so angry. We can’t watch it”. This makes the focus on the game or show and not on their feelings. It also takes responsibility AWAY from us and our kids to manage those feelings and inaccurately attributes them to the game or show.
😮💨Instead we can focus on the feelings, which might sound like: “I know it’s so hard to turn off the TV. We’ll watch TV again tomorrow” or “wow this game is exciting! Let’s pause and do 10 jumping jacks” or “you’re so mad you lost. I won’t let you throw the controller. I’ll put the controller away while we calm down together”. This makes it clear that although games and shows may elicit feelings, our kids are still responsible for their behaviors.
👩👩👦Most importantly it shows our kids we are there to help them learn how to manage these feelings so that one day they can manage them on their own.
