Recently, I got a message from a follower who told me that an excerpt from page 20 of my book that came out this year was a total game changer.
Of course, I immediately went to find my book and read page 20- what was this revelatory knowledge I had shared?
Sure enough, it was a reframe. And, since it’s the start of a new year, I figured this would be a wonderful way to ground us all in what screen time should do: it should help, it should alleviate, it should entertain, it should shoulder systemic burdens, but it shouldn’t cause shame.
As I say in the above excerpt: our homes are not vacuum-sealed research laboratories. Data should be helpful and if data is only going to make us feel badly about a decision that we don’t have a readily available alternative for, then that data may not actually be relevant or even helpful for us in that moment.
Of course, if we are using a screen out of necessity or choice and it’s not working for *everyone* in our family, then we can and should make changes. But that change is not as simple as “get rid of it” because again, that isn’t possible or sustainable for many families.
By viewing screens and morally neutral it’s actually a lot easier to look at them as a tool and approach screen issues with a problem solving mindset. That’s where my “screen time ABC’s” from chapters 4-6 of my book come in.
A quick example: Screen time feels necessary during baby’s nap time but now it’s making the four year old amped up and loud? Keep the screen time, but change something about it: different amount of time (access), or incorporate regulation opportunities into the screen time (behavior), or a different show (content).
Those are actionable, they’re sustainable, and most importantly they’re also empowering both for adults and for kids. It’s not realistic to expect our kids to just get rid of something that isn’t working ideally for them, but it IS realistic to give them ways to problem solve. That’s realistic for kids, and it’s realistic and sustainable for us too.
Happy new year, and let this be a year of actionable empowerment, instead of shame-based fear.
